Parenting Licence

All she wanted was to be left in peace. To cook, to clean, to do nothing.

God, that makes her sound selfish. Worse, makes her sound like a bad parent. Which she probably is.

She is so tired. School holidays don't help. A constant round of 'what are we going to do now?', fighting, screaming, someone wanting something, someone wanting her to play. Playing. She hates it. Always has. Nothing new. But certainly a source of discomfort, guilt and confusion. Why does she hate playing so much? Don't all parents enjoy playing with their kids? What happened to make her loathe and dread it? Craft, games, puzzles, make believe, toys. Doesn't like any of it. Thank god she has a husband who does it and enjoys it. Thank god.

She is happiest without her children. Isn't that awful? What a confession. Top that. She said recently 'not unhappy with them' but maybe this isn't necessarily true now.

She loves them to death. No questions. But she wants time and space. Lots of it. Can someone come and do her job for her? Let her be. To just be.

Is this a symptom of the school holidays? Like a Holidays Slump (during-Holiday not post-Holiday slump ha ha). Some of it has to be. Compounded by some terrible truths. Like the whole not liking playing thing. Maybe she's coming down with something? Her throat has been feeling sore and odd lately. Maybe she's just over it. Maybe she needs to find fulfillment elsewhere. Which for her is a polite way of saying 'someone else look after my kids while I go do something...anything'.

Who knows. Maybe she just needs her Parenting Licence suspended. Surely not revoked. Just suspended.

Submitted by Anonymous